What the hell
I'm sorry, did I say something to offend you? Did I do something to tic you off? Did I step out of line? Because what the hell!? I've gone over and over our conversations and rethought all I've said and done, in hopes of finding that minor detail that somehow set you off!
We were doing great, the best of friends, some would even say sisters. Talking almost everyday, you were going through something and I was there, like always, trying to help you through it. I listened to what you had to say, I said what you needed to hear, I was your shoulder to cry on. And in return you told me that if I ever needed anything you'd always be there for me as I am for you. Where the Hell are you now? I was your helping hand pulling you up so you could get to where you needed to be, then you left me to fend for myself. Just like that you were gone. Am I suddenly someone you can no longer talk to? Am I no longer good enough for you?
But that is what you said you loved about me most, that if you ever needed your space or just needed to be left alone, I would understand. And I did, don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the fact that I was so understanding. That was before, that was years ago, now it's too much, you've taken it too far and enough is enough. Before, you would at least give me warning. You'd send a small email letting me know that you're doing fine, hope that I were doing just as well. You would tell me you were busy or going through something... and you'd always end it with " I'll explain it all later" but like I said, that was before. It's been months and I still haven't heard a word from you. Our last conversation we were going to hang out and bake at midnight just for the hell of it... I never actually got an answer from you. I gave you the plan and it were literally as if you fell off the side of the Earth.
It really hurt too. You know why it hurts? Because you do this every time. One minute you need me to boost you up and once you've stepped back on your pedestal you don't need me anymore, nor do you even want me. It used to be weeks went by before you'd call me up again. Today, its reached months, and you still haven't called. And that makes me upset, know why? Because no matter what you do to me, I value the friendship we have, or at least the one we had. I get that you're busy, but just a quick "Hey, I;m still alive just supper busy, talk to you when I can" THAT IS ALL I WANTED! and I would've been fine.
Do you know what hurts even more than all that? It's that you know this, you know that it kills me a little more each time you do it, cut me off, but you don't care. You don't care because you know I'm too good a person to stop lifting you up. I won't ever let you down because I care about you too much. I could never see you in pain, no matter how much pain you put me through, as long as you're okay, I know I'll be alright.
I just think it's sad that someone like you can do that to someone like me, who does so much for you, and all I ask in return is a little "heads up" if you will.
P.S.
I'm so sorry, after writing all of this down I can see how now how selfish I am for asking so much of you. I've simply asked for too much, a little notice is way too much to ask for and with that I am truly sorry. Call me when you fall of your pedestal, again, I'll be right there as soon as I can...